Author Topic: Sar-e-Aam Meri Muhabat  (Read 5587 times)

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Offline Perozai R!nd

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Sar-e-Aam Meri Muhabat
« on: September 27, 2006, 03:48:36 PM »
A New Ghazal By

Fahad Naseer Rind

Sar-e-Aam Meri Muhabat ka Mazak Udaya to na karo
Marhum key Naam Pe ZakhmoN ko Dabaya to na karo

Aakhir dikha  Hee  Diya Tum  Ney Apnaa ASlee Roop
Zakhm DeY Kar Yoo`N khushee Manaya To Na Karo   
   
Aye Dost !   Ajeeb  See  Fitrat    HaY  Tumharee
be-wafa ho keY dosroN ko wafa Samjaya to na karo

Nafrat kee Inteha Ab Aur Seh NaheiN Sakta MeiN
MereY khattoN ko Es  TaraH  Jalaya To Na karo

Aik Pal ke Liye bhool jawo MujeY to koyi baat NahieN
Lakin Umer Bhar ke Liye MujeY Paraya To Na Karo


Offline Zahida Raees Raji

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Re: Sar-e-Aam Meri Muhabat
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2006, 08:08:34 PM »
A New Ghazal By


Fahad Naseer Rind



Sar-e-Aam Meri Muhabat ka Mazak Udaya to na karo
Marhum key Naam Pe ZakhmoN ko Dabaya to na karo

Aakhir dikha  Hee  Diya Tum  Ney Apnaa ASlee Roop
Zakhm DeY Kar Yoo`N khushee Manaya To Na Karo   
   
Aye Dost !   Ajeeb  See  Fitrat    HaY  Tumharee
be-wafa ho keY dosroN ko wafa Samjaya to na karo

Nafrat kee Inteha Ab Aur Seh NaheiN Sakta MeiN
MereY khattoN ko Es  TaraH  Jalaya To Na karo

Aik Pal ke Liye bhool jawo MujeY to koyi baat NahieN
Lakin Umer Bhar ke Liye MujeY Paraya To Na Karo


Dear Brother :Fahad Naseer Rind:
Aadaab,

aap kee Ghazal dekhii majmooii taur par koshish tu kaamyaab hai yanii aap ne radeef, qaafiya, matla'a aur maqta'a ko achii taraH se nibhaYaa hai lekin Ghazal meN Ghazliyaa rang kee kamii bohat ziyadah meHsoos ho rahii hai.
choNkeh ab tak aap kaafi kuch likh chuke heN isliye mere nazdeek yeh durust time hai aap ko durust raah dikhaane ka.

aap kee is Ghazal ke har ek she'r meN youN lag raha hai keh aap ne nacriyah jumlaa likhaa hai.

nacr aur shaa,iree meN bunyaadi farq hee yeh  hai keh she'r meN paRhte hee ek sur aur taranum paidah hotaa hai.

koshish keejiye keh mashoor GhazlooN kee zameen par taba'a aazmayii kareN jaise:

*** mujh se pahlee see moHabbat mere meHboob nah maang
*** moHabbat kar ke bhi dekhaa, moHabbat meN bhi dhoka hai
*** moHabbat youN naheeN achii
*** moHabbat aashnaa ho kar wafa nah aashinaa hona
*** ranjish hee sahii dil hee dukhaane ke liye aa
*** mujhe teree moHabbat ka sahara mil gayaa hotaa

waghairah waghairah...
 
in GhazlooN se aap ko andaaz, alfaaz, qaafiye waafir miqdaar meN mil sakte heN.

koshish jaaree rakhiye inshaAllah voh waqt door naheeN jab aap kee taKhleeqaat meN yeh kamii bhi maujood naheeN ho gii.

Khush rahiye

Khair andesh

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Offline Perozai R!nd

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Re: Sar-e-Aam Meri Muhabat
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2006, 09:11:21 PM »
Jee Gohar Raji Tayee Saro Soj Mani Saro Chammana.
Thankx For Information.I Know EveryThign Lakin Jo Zehen Mein Aata Hey Voh Isee taraha Aata Hey Aur isee Tarah Likh Deta Hoon. :>


Offline Zahida Raees Raji

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Re: Sar-e-Aam Meri Muhabat... by Fahad Naseer
« Reply #3 on: September 29, 2006, 09:46:52 PM »
Jee Gohar Raji Tayee Saro Soj Mani Saro Chammana.
Thankx For Information.I Know EveryThign Lakin Jo Zehen Mein Aata Hey Voh Isee taraha Aata Hey Aur isee Tarah Likh Deta Hoon. :>


braat taee kagade minatvaaran'
jo zehn meN aaYe use parche par laane se naeheN roknaa chahiye lekin jab zehn meN ashaar kee aamad ka silsilah ruk jaaYe tu us phir apnii teHreer ko baar baar paRhiye.
use ek qaari kee Haiciyat se aur ek naaqid kee Haiciyat se bhi dekhiye.
phir har she'r ko zaraa lafzooN ke raddo badal ke saath dekeN aap ka zehn Khud ba Khud khulne lage gaa
jaise aap ka miSrah hai:

Sar-e-Aam Meri Muhabat ka Mazak Udaya to na karo

ise youN bhi likh sakte heN:

youN sar-e-aam mere ishq ko ruswaa nah karo

yaa

youN sar-e-aam suno, merii moHabbat ko tamaasha nah karo
 
yaa

meree ulfat ko sar-e-aam tamashaa nah karo


ab aap dekhiye aap ka ek hee Khayaal hai kitne tareeqe se iskee adahigii hoovii hai. :)

likhte rahiye inshaAlllah waqt ke saath saath puKhtigii aatee rahe gii

Khush rahiye

dua'a go

aap kee baaji

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Offline Nohani

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Re: Sar-e-Aam Meri Muhabat
« Reply #4 on: September 30, 2006, 04:53:02 AM »
Sis, you have given a good explanation (y)

Offline Perozai R!nd

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Re: Sar-e-Aam Meri Muhabat... by Fahad Naseer
« Reply #5 on: September 30, 2006, 02:42:43 PM »
Quote
youN sar-e-aam mere ishq ko ruswaa nah karo

Wow Thankx Sis Raji For Such Informations.Yeah I got it.

Aapne Es Ko Bohot He Khoobsoorat bana Liye Keh

youN sar-e-aam mere ishq ko ruswaa nah karo


Once Again Thank you So Much Baji .


Offline Zahida Raees Raji

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Re: Sar-e-Aam Meri Muhabat... by Fahad Naseer
« Reply #6 on: October 01, 2006, 05:59:42 AM »
Sis, you have given a good explanation (y)

Bohat shurkiyah Brother

Quote
youN sar-e-aam mere ishq ko ruswaa nah karo

Wow Thankx Sis Raji For Such Informations.Yeah I got it.

Aapne Es Ko Bohot He Khoobsoorat bana Liye Keh

youN sar-e-aam mere ishq ko ruswaa nah karo


Once Again Thank you So Much Baji .

Fahad aap ko yeh tarmeem pasand aaYii aur jo maiN aap se kehnaa chah rahii thee voh aap kee samajh meN bhi aa gaya ab is se achii aur kyaa baat ho saktee hai  :)

Khush rahiye
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Offline Perozai R!nd

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Re: Sar-e-Aam Meri Muhabat
« Reply #7 on: October 05, 2006, 03:43:04 PM »
Thankx Sis Raji... (ff)


Offline ضیا بلوچ Zia Baloch

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Re: Sar-e-Aam Meri Muhabat
« Reply #8 on: March 16, 2007, 11:37:57 PM »
Dear Brother Fahad Naseer SaaHib, aadaab !!

aap  ki kaavish pasand aa'ii aur us par moHtarama Raji sis ka maahiraana mashvara bhii bahut pasand aayaa ! is par a'mal karne se aap bahut taraqqii kareNge inshaa Allah ! daad qubool ho ! shukriya

Zia Baloch

Offline Perozai R!nd

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Re: Sar-e-Aam Meri Muhabat
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2007, 04:34:00 PM »
Dear Brother Fahad Naseer SaaHib, aadaab !!

aap  ki kaavish pasand aa'ii aur us par moHtarama Raji sis ka maahiraana mashvara bhii bahut pasand aayaa ! is par a'mal karne se aap bahut taraqqii kareNge inshaa Allah ! daad qubool ho ! shukriya

Zia Baloch


Aapka Bohot Bohot Shukria Zia Baloch Sahib. Aur INSHALLAH Omeed Har Waqt Yahi Hogi Keh Hum Naye Seekhne Walo`n Ko Aap Logo`n Se Bohot Kuch Seekhne Ko Milega.