Author Topic: ","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","  (Read 23148 times)

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Offline Mehhlab Baloch

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","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","
« on: February 16, 2007, 03:57:43 PM »
abhi jab palat kar
dekh leti hon
un morda lamhon ki taraf
jo kabhi
sada bahar huwa karte thay
jin k ghaney saye main
kayee rishtey jiya kartey thay
kayee log
aabad huwa kartey thay
yad rakha kartey thay
ab dharkanon se mehhroom
wo lamhey
mohabbat ko kostey hain
kiyonke,
mohabbat...
wo aakhiri saans hay
mere tamam rishton ki
is se barh kar
koi mujhey de na saka
meri chahat jo bhari
tou mujhey chorh gaye...
Hey nezoreen baskani nokteren beday bara!!!
Gulzmeen soth e kuth azmank pa tu perbast.

Offline Sheh Mureed

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Re: ","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2007, 06:25:24 PM »
Very nice  E:D3

Offline Mehhlab Baloch

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Re: ","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2007, 06:45:11 PM »
Thank u dear....
Hey nezoreen baskani nokteren beday bara!!!
Gulzmeen soth e kuth azmank pa tu perbast.

Offline Nohani

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Re: ","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2007, 11:40:52 PM »
wonderful work Mehhlab  :)

Offline Mehhlab Baloch

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Re: ","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","
« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2007, 11:48:30 PM »
Thank U Dear Nohani... :)
Hey nezoreen baskani nokteren beday bara!!!
Gulzmeen soth e kuth azmank pa tu perbast.

Offline Mahnaaz

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Re: ","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","
« Reply #5 on: February 18, 2007, 11:54:19 PM »
(F)بهت خوب مهلب۔
Man Qazi Wati Had e Daramad
Baren Mani Bareg Kujam Int.

Offline Mehhlab Baloch

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Re: ","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","
« Reply #6 on: February 19, 2007, 12:18:15 AM »
Thanks alot Sis Mahnaaz  :)
Hey nezoreen baskani nokteren beday bara!!!
Gulzmeen soth e kuth azmank pa tu perbast.

Offline گوادری Gwaduri

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Re: ","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","
« Reply #7 on: February 19, 2007, 12:58:35 PM »
abhi jab palat kar
dekh leti hon
un morda lamhon ki taraf
jo kabhi
sada bahar huwa karte thay
jin k ghaney saye main
kayee rishtey jiya kartey thay
kayee log
aabad huwa kartey thay
yad rakha kartey thay
ab dharkanon se mehhroom
wo lamhey
mohabbat ko kostey hain
kiyonke,
mohabbat...
wo aakhiri saans hay
mere tamam rishton ki
is se barh kar
koi mujhey de na saka
meri chahat jo bhari
tou mujhey chorh gaye...


Nice Plot  |||o

buttttttttttttt

I am really not clear abt something......in the poem...

wht actually died down... lamhey, rishtey or mohabbat...

Mehhlab u said.....and i quote

abhi jab palat kar
dekh leti hon
un morda lamhon ki taraf


and

ab dharkanon se mehhroom
wo lamhey mohabbat ko kostey hain


Murda lamhey mohabbat ko kaise kos sakti hain.....

and i dont find any link between the conclusion with the rest of the poem

is se barh kar
koi mujhey de na saka
meri chahat jo bhari
tou mujhey chorh gaye


apart from my illogical comments the idea and creativity is really excellent :clap:





Maara Tappi Kotag Hama Teera
Anga tai dedage kamaan'a hain

Offline Mehhlab Baloch

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Re: ","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","
« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2007, 03:16:51 PM »
Well
Dear Gwaduri, first of all i must thank u for ur observations....but it really is strange to explain poetry but u may have not payed attention to somethings...
the "lamhey" which are offcourse provided by a "person"... and that is the "rishta" and these are all connected with and cleard by one word "koi"
"koi mujhey de na saka"
now i guess if u read it again u will understand it ...i hope
and "morda lamhey" chon complain kanan ????
Man nazaneen  :)
Hey nezoreen baskani nokteren beday bara!!!
Gulzmeen soth e kuth azmank pa tu perbast.

Offline Deedag

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Re: ","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","
« Reply #9 on: February 19, 2007, 11:37:09 PM »
Well
Dear Gwaduri, first of all i must thank u for ur observations....but it really is strange to explain poetry but u may have not payed attention to somethings...
the "lamhey" which are offcourse provided by a "person"... and that is the "rishta" and these are all connected with and cleard by one word "koi"
"koi mujhey de na saka"
now i guess if u read it again u will understand it ...i hope
and "morda lamhey" chon complain kanan ????
Man nazaneen  :)


poetry mein sab jaiz hai. excellent work miss mehhlab
Pullein Balochistan

Offline Mehhlab Baloch

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Re: ","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","
« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2007, 07:34:41 PM »
Thanks alot Deedag...
poetry mai sub koch jaiz hay...
magar poetry ko explain karna bohuth moshkill hay or BAD hay....(for Gwaduri)

Thnx again....
Hey nezoreen baskani nokteren beday bara!!!
Gulzmeen soth e kuth azmank pa tu perbast.

Offline Mahgul

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Re: ","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","
« Reply #11 on: February 21, 2007, 01:24:20 PM »
Superb sis mehhlab... keep it up...

Offline Mehhlab Baloch

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Re: ","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","
« Reply #12 on: February 21, 2007, 04:12:48 PM »
Thanks Alot Dear Mahgul. :)
Hey nezoreen baskani nokteren beday bara!!!
Gulzmeen soth e kuth azmank pa tu perbast.

Offline Atharag

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Re: ","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","
« Reply #13 on: February 21, 2007, 07:00:23 PM »
baaz juwan inth balay................mayosi gunah inth :)

Offline Alhaan

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Re: ","Mohabbat, Wo Aakhiri Saans","
« Reply #14 on: February 21, 2007, 07:16:57 PM »
very nice. :)