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General Diwan => Hobbies, fun games & Humour => Topic started by: ناہید بلوچ Naheed Baloch on June 21, 2005, 02:07:56 PM

Title: teacher and student
Post by: ناہید بلوچ Naheed Baloch on June 21, 2005, 02:07:56 PM
teacher and student



Some Dialogues b/w Teacher and some of the students...

1.TEACHER: Why are you late?
Student : Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
Student: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

2.TEACHER: Furqan, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
Furqan: You told me to do it without using tables!-

3.TEACHER: Ali, how do you spell "crocodile"?
BILAL: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
BILAL: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

4. CHEMISTRY. TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
STUDENT: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
STUDENT: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

5.TEACHER: Ahmed , go to the map and find North America .
Ahmed: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Ahmed!

6.TEACHER: Abid, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have twenty years ago.
Abid: Me!

7.Our ENGLISH TEACHER: Ali, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Ali: I is...
TEACHER:No, Ali. Always say, "I am."
Ali: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

8.Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
(a voice from the back of teh class): "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the Same day same time.

9.Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love.

10.Teacher: Now, Ahsan, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Ahsan: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

11.Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Class : A teacher.
Title: teacher and student
Post by: Nohani on June 22, 2005, 07:44:34 PM
some nice jokes ..  :>

thanks Naheed
Title: teacher and student
Post by: Perozai R!nd on September 23, 2005, 08:26:52 PM
^o) It's not the fault of the student if he fails,because the year ONLY has 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student:

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know
Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot
and difficult to study.Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left
141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health)
means 15 days. Days left 126.


5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies
(chewing
properly & swallowing)-means 30days. Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social
animal)-means
15 days. days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days
left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival
(holidays)-40 days.
Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining
days=3.

10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day
left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????!!!!!!!!!!
Balance = 0
Isnt that really reasonable?
Title: teacher and student
Post by: Rind Baba on September 24, 2005, 05:28:54 PM
Quote from: fahad
^o) It's not the fault of the student if he fails,because the year ONLY has 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student:

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know
Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot
and difficult to study.Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left
141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health)
means 15 days. Days left 126.


5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies
(chewing
properly & swallowing)-means 30days. Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social
animal)-means
15 days. days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days
left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival
(holidays)-40 days.
Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining
days=3.

10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day
left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????!!!!!!!!!!
Balance = 0
Isnt that really reasonable?


Funny Very Funny(http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/1518/652sg.gif)
Title: teacher and student
Post by: Bijjar on September 26, 2005, 04:34:53 PM
:mrgreen:

  Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
    "But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
    "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
    "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
    "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
    "Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
    "Well, for one, you're 52-years-old. And for another, you're the Principal!"
Title: teacher and student
Post by: Bijjar on September 26, 2005, 04:35:57 PM
A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad. Looking at it they see under math an A+.
Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, "What changed your mind about learning math?"

The son looked at mom and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant business."
Title: teacher and student
Post by: Bijjar on September 26, 2005, 04:38:47 PM
Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Paddy: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Paddy: I've already got one rabbit at home now!