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General Diwan => Hobbies, fun games & Humour => Topic started by: Saima Baloch on February 14, 2006, 11:24:33 AM

Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Saima Baloch on February 14, 2006, 11:24:33 AM
Q: Why did the sardar throw the butter out of the window?
A: he wanted to see butterfly!!

Saradr answers toughest question ever:
Wat cums 1st...the chicken or egg?
Saradr says: Oye paaji!!! jis cheez ka order pehle dunga.. wahi pehle aayega!! :mrgreen:
Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Prince on February 14, 2006, 03:07:36 PM
Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?
 "Sure."

 "Give me a green one, please." :mrgreen:

******************************************************88


Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.

He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.

"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman.

"I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.

Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied. :mrgreen:


*************************************************************

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.

 "What's the problem?"asked the doctor.

 "I'm 2400 kms from home." :)
Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Rind Baba on February 15, 2006, 12:18:26 AM
Sardar-why are all these people running?

Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why are
others running


............................................................................


A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered
huge Loss.

Do u know what the business was?

He opened a Hair Cutting Saloon in Punjab



.............................................................................

19 SARDARS WENT TO SEE A FILM.

ON ASKING THEM THEY CAME IN A BIG GROUP OF 19?

THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR ABOVE 18.
Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Nuno on February 15, 2006, 09:25:01 PM
hahaahaha that  was nice  rind bro :mrgreen:
ok ab meri bari

eik bar eik sardar ji kaheen jarahy thy rasty main kely ky chilky sy phisal kar gir gay.. sardar ji uthy or khud ko jharty hua agy nikal pary..
thori door ja ka eik or chhilka para hua mila, sardar ji bezar ho  kar boly
"kia museebat hai......! ab phir sy phisaln pary ga
Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Perozai R!nd on February 16, 2006, 10:11:25 AM
Quote from: Nuno
hahaahaha that  was nice  rind bro :mrgreen:
ok ab meri bari

eik bar eik sardar ji kaheen jarahy thy rasty main kely ky chilky sy phisal kar gir gay.. sardar ji uthy or khud ko jharty hua agy nikal pary..
thori door ja ka eik or chhilka para hua mila, sardar ji bezar ho  kar boly
"kia museebat hai......! ab phir sy phisaln pary ga



Very Funny Fool Sardar Jee.Am I right Nuno :mrgreen:
Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Saima Baloch on February 16, 2006, 04:32:34 PM
Doctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai?
Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai....
Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Nuno on February 16, 2006, 04:38:42 PM
sardar ji cycle per jarahy thy..samny si eik lady jarahi thi usky sath sardar ji ka accident hogaya..
aurat boli" oy sardar tum brake nahi marsakty thy"
sardarji " tusi barake ki bat karty ho main ny app ko poori ki poori cycle jo mardi hia,
Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Saima Baloch on February 18, 2006, 11:01:16 AM
A Sardar enters shop & shouts, "Where's my free gift with this oil?"
Shopkeeper: "Iske saath koi gift nahin hai bhaisaab"
Sardar : "Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 English Man : - Humare America mein War ho gaya hai
Sardar jee: - Humare India mein to roz hi war hota hai
English Man : - wo kaise?
Sardar jee : - Somwar, Mangalwar, Budhwar.....!!!
.......... :)  :mrgreen:
Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Nuno on February 22, 2006, 12:27:06 AM
eik sardar ji marny k bad janat k darogha(chokeedar) k pass gaya or under jany ka kaha
rizwan:janab kahan jarhy ho ap ka nam to list main nahi hia
sardar:nai oye tum theek sy check karo merya nam waheen hai
rizwan ny file check ki:arry nahi sardar ji app ka nam kaheen nahi hai
sardar ji gusy sy:arry kesy nahi hai main ny zindagi main bohot nek kam kiyn hain tum ghor sy dekho
janat ka chokeedar: mujhy to kaheen ap ka nam nahi mil raha apppp khud hi bata do app ny kia nekian kin hain
sardar kuch yadd karty huya:oye puter main ny eik barr eik fakeer ko 10 rupy diy tha
rizwan:or :E ?
sardar ji; orr..or or.. han eik bar eik kherati idary main 10 rupy donate kiya thay
rizwan:or??
sardar:or bas
rizwan jeb sy 20 rupy nikalty huya....gussy sy : chalo pakro apny 20 ruppy or appka rasta seedha hai
Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Saima Baloch on February 22, 2006, 10:50:35 AM
A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken, Waiter comes with the order, Surdar:Murgi di taang kithe hai? Waiter:Woh langra tha. Surdar: Dil? Waiter:Dil murgi le gayee. Surdar: Dimaag? Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha
Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Perozai R!nd on February 25, 2006, 10:10:21 AM
A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I bor-rowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!" The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."[/i]
Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Saima Baloch on February 25, 2006, 10:38:00 AM
Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed
[/color]
Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Perozai R!nd on February 25, 2006, 10:42:05 AM
English Man : - Humare America mein War ho gaya hai
Sardar jee: - Humare India mein to roz hi war hota hai
English Man : - wo kaise?
Sardar jee : - Somwar, Mangalwar, Budhwar.....!!!
Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Rind Baba on February 25, 2006, 11:23:30 PM
A Punjabi Sardar and a Bengali Babu were talking about their State's patriotic history during the freedom struggle. The debate heated up and both ended up claiming that their state had the maximum number of freedom fighters. They finally agreed on a method to find which of the states had more freedom fighters. Each person would say the name of a freedom fighter from his state and pull one hair out of his opponents head. Both of them began earnestly. "Bhagat Singh" said the Sardar and pulled one hair from the Bengali. "Netaji" said the Bengali and did the same. They continued like this for some time, but soon exhausted all known freedom fighters. The Bengali, however, was very clever. He used Sardar's ignorance and reeled off a lot of imaginary names. The Punjabi was stuck. He did not know any more Punjabi freedom fighter's name. He thought deeply for a moment, jumped on the Bengali's head and pulled all his hair out shouting - "JallianWala Bagh :mrgreen:  :mrgreen:
Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Perozai R!nd on February 26, 2006, 08:40:59 PM
Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
Title: Sardar jee
Post by: Nuno on March 02, 2006, 08:07:12 PM
kharak singh key kharakny sy kharkti hain khirkiyan
or khirkioon key kharakny sey kharkta hai khak singh
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: Nohani on April 10, 2006, 02:25:08 PM
A lie machine is bought.It works in the following way.....

If the truth is told- the machine wont give any sound. If a lie is told- the machine will give a sound 'KIRRRRRRRR...'

Now there are three Indians.One Bengali,one Madrasi and one Sardarji.

Their correspondences are given infront of the lie
machine.Here it goes......

Bengali:- 'I think I can eat 30 rosogullas at a time!'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
 
Bengali:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 rosogullas at a time'
Lie machine:- no sound(truth is told)

Madrasi:-'I think i can eat 25 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
 
Madrasi:-'No no,I think i can eat 10 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-no sound(truth)

Sardarji:-'I think....'
Lie machine:-  'KIRRRRRRRR...'
 
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'.
 
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: Digital Walk on April 12, 2006, 08:42:46 PM
"Oye Khote! let me Speak firstTT"
u 'KIRRRRRRRR...'  and 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
before I lie!!
Oye this is wrongg!!!
Can I try agian??
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'

 :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: زینوک Zenok on April 13, 2006, 02:36:39 PM
Teacher to Sardar " Where were U born?
Sardar : In Tiruvanantapuram.
Teacher : Spell it?
Sardar : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.
================================================================

Santa : People consider me as a "GOD"
Banta : How do you know??
Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have came again..

================================================================

Sardar complained 2 Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my house.
Police : How the theif did not take TV???
Sardar : I was watching TV na....
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: زینوک Zenok on April 25, 2006, 10:13:38 AM
Amazing Sardar  
 
About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Sikhs had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Sikh community.
 
So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Sikh community. If the Sikh won, the Sikhs Could stay.
 
If the Pope won, the Sikhs would leave.
 
The Sikhs realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named Harbinder Singh to represent them. Harbinder asked for one additional condition to the debate. To make it more Interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed.
 
The day of the great debate came. Harbinder Singh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute. Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
 
Harbinder looked back at him and raised one finger.
The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head.
 
Harbinder pointed to the ground where he sat.
The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine.
 
Harbinder pulled out an apple.
The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Sikhs can stay."
 
An hour later, the cardinals were gathered around the Pope asking him what had happened.
 
The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity.
He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still One God common to both our religions.
 
Then, I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us.
He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us.
 
Then, I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God Absolves us from our sins.
He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin.
 
He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"
 
Meanwhile, the Sikh community had crowded around Harbinder Singh. "What happened?" they asked.
 
"Well," said Harbinder, "First he said to me that the Sikhs had three days to get out of here.
I told him not one of us was leaving.
 
Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Sikhs.
I let him know that we were staying right here."
 
"Yes, and then???" asked the crowd.
"I don't know", said Harbinder, "He took out his lunch, and I took out mine!!
Title: Sardarji Kidnapping a Child.
Post by: Mahnaaz on April 28, 2006, 07:54:09 PM
Sardarji Kidnapping a Child
 
 
A Sardar Ji was Living hand to Mouth.
In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
 
He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
 
Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid.
Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".
 
Signed: "A Sardarji".
 
Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
 
The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying:
 
"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Take the money, and Please leave my son."
Signed: Another Sardarji.
:mrgreen:
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: Rind Baba on May 08, 2006, 06:36:44 PM


Sardar Je was buying a tv
He Ask Do You Have  color TVs?
The Man Reply Sure
sardar:  Then Give Me A Green One Please :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: زینوک Zenok on May 11, 2006, 09:32:22 AM
Dear Mr Bill Gates,
 
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
 
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
 
2. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.
 
3. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.
 
4. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
 
5. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this 'find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug?
 
6. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.
 
7. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?
 
8.  I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad lekhin there is  only one icon with 'MY Computer', remaining ka kya huwa?
 
9. Aur ye to kamal hai, windows says 'MY Pictures' lekhin there is not even single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that.
 
10. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
 
From:
Banta Singh,
Punjab
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: Perozai R!nd on July 25, 2006, 07:31:16 PM
Sardar I haven't slept all nite in the train.
Friend : Why
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend why did you not changed
Sardar :There was nobody to exchange the lower birth.



Sardar went to a BANK to open a S.B. A/C.
After seeing the Form He had gone to DELHI for filling up.
You know why
FORM say " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".


A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Hair Cutting Saloon in Punjab!
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: Perozai R!nd on August 17, 2006, 11:20:25 AM
Ek sardar apne bete se bola: Bevkuf kaisa machis leke aaya
hai,
ek bhi

tili nahin jalti.

Beta: Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke laya hoon.

 :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: Rind Baba on August 19, 2006, 04:22:02 PM
1: Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar
sakta tha kya?
Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di....."
 

2:Sardar:Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend: B.A.
Sardar: kamal karte ho yaar sirf do word padhe aur woh bhi ulte.
 

3:A friend asks sardar how was ur exam?
Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK.
I thought, thought finally i wrote 'THUNK'.
 

4:Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz
sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.


5:Sardarni asks her lover,"Santa dear, if we get engaged, will u give
me a ring?"
"Sure" replies santa. "Whats ur phone no?"


6:Angry sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga - mita dunga- mita
dunga.
Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga.
 

7:What is the full form of singh: S-sardar I-insaan N-nahi G-gadha
H-hai
.

8:koi Sardaar apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki achanak
bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola:
Lagta hai pahunch gai


(http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/8670/80cl.gif)
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: Nuno on October 02, 2006, 11:07:29 PM
Q:Why did sardar ji cut the sides of capsule before taking it?
 A:Because he wanted to avoid th side effects
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: baloch_friend on November 03, 2006, 12:56:40 PM
. A news reporter gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station.
Only one sardar left alive.The correspondent goes to him and asks, Sardarji how did it happen?

Sardar: oh ji pucho mat.. sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade gaadi ki wait kar rahe they. Achanak announcement hui ki shatabdee express 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai. Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi PLATFORM PAR aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri par kood gaye. Aur tabhi gaddi patri par aa gayi.

Reporter: Thank god. Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par nahin koode.

Sardar: Oye nahin ji main to suicide karne ki iye patri par hi leta tha. Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad gaya.
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: Rind Baba on November 05, 2006, 12:26:33 AM
A Sardar jiii tells his gf, "come home tomorrow, no one will b at home."
When she goes the next day to his home.......
There was NO ONE at home.



A SARDARJI is in the library , he bangs down a book and says :" too boring, too many characters and no story.
LIBRARIAN says : oh! U r the one who took the phone directory away??


Title: Kidnapping by a sardar
Post by: زینوک Zenok on November 25, 2006, 11:28:49 AM

 
There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
 
He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
 
Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid.
 
Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".
 
Signed: "A Sardarji".
 
Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
 
The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying:
 
"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Take the money, and Please leave my son."
Signed: Another Sardarji
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: Imran Mullahzai on April 04, 2007, 04:06:15 PM
1. Once upon Sardarjee falling love with a Nurse, hus ne soocha k wo mohabat ka izhar kese kare,Aakhir kafi sooch bichar k baad hus ne ek love letter likha,
       "I Love You Sister"  (yh)

2. some one ask to Sardarjee: Bus main Logo-n ne aap ko itna kion mara?
Sardarjee Replied: Oh yaar kia batao-n, Meri Tasweer (photo) Bus main gir gai tee, mene kaha Madam zara Sari hoper karien Tasweer leni hai,  :mrgreen:

Title: Sardar In Desert
Post by: Rind Baba on May 25, 2007, 05:13:26 PM
Sardar,a Japanese, and a British were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey. The Japanese took the radiator, the British took the seat, and the Sardar took the door.
After a while of walking the British asked the Japanese "Im confused, why did you bring the radiator?"
The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, can drink the fluid."
Next the Sardar asked the British "Why did you bring the seat?"
So the British said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat."
Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the door.
The Sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window
:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: Rind Baba on June 26, 2007, 03:16:10 AM
Murga SARDAR tha!!!
A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken, Waiter comes with the order, Surdar:Murgi di taang kithe hai? Waiter:Woh langra tha. Surdar: Dil? Waiter:Dil murgi le gayee. Surdar: Dimaag? Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha!!!
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: Baluch on June 27, 2007, 06:16:15 PM
Mental Hospital

A mental hospital was critically overcrowded. The doctor decides to get all the patients seated in one large room to conduct a test to see how many they discharge that day.

At the front of the room the Doctors took some chalk and drew a full size door on a Blackboard and offered an ice cream to any patient who could open the door.

There was a mad rush for the door with the patients scratching a clawing at the door and the handle.

The doctors were disappointed, until they noticed a single patient who remained in his chair and was quietly chuckling to himself as he watched his fellow patients.

Encouraged that at least one patient could be discharged today, the doctors asked him why he wasn't trying to open the door.

The patient, who could no longer contain his laughter, shouted, "I've got the key!"
Title: Re: Sardar jee
Post by: Rind Baba on April 18, 2008, 07:04:35 AM
 :mrgreen:
Sardar apni bevi ke sath taxi mein baita . Driver ne aaina set kia k itne mein sardar ne ussay deaka sardar gussay mein bola uluu. Ke pataay ja peechay baait taxi mein khud chalaunga'