Author Topic: Talking To Doctors  (Read 1882 times)

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Offline Perozai R!nd

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Talking To Doctors
« on: May 23, 2006, 05:32:27 PM »
[1] Provisional
Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade."


"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you

done anything yet ?"


"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."


[2] Unstable
"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands

shaking!"


"Do you drink a lot?"


"Not really - I spill most of it!"


[3] Better after Surgery


"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"


"Yes, of course..."


"Great! I never could before!"



[4] Dumbfounded
Man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her

contractions are only two minutes apart!"


"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.


"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"



[5] Time Up
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.


Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.


Doctor: The lab called with your test results.

They said you have 24 hours to live.


Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could

be WORSE? What's the very bad news?


Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.




[6] Sooner than expected
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.

He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill.

After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.


"I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says.


"Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks.


"10..." says the doctor.


"10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately.


"10...9...8...7..."


[7] Poor Diet
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a

carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.


"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.

The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."



[8] Mistaken Cause
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.


"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.


"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.


"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."


The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow,

that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch!

That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe,


"Wow, even THAT hurts", she cried.


The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his

diagnosis, "You have a broken finger.


Offline Rind Baba

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Re: Talking To Doctors
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2006, 07:07:26 PM »
Once a doctor went to a mental hospital. he was walking by a room and saw a guy holding his ear to the wall, so the doc went to that guy and pushed him aside and tried to listen so the doc put his ear against the wall and said i don t hear anything. that guy slaped the doctor and said i m listening to this wall for 20 years i don t hear anything you just came and how the hell can you hear something. .......
You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.

Long Live Baloch & Balochistan

Offline Mahnaaz

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Re: Talking To Doctors
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2006, 08:03:23 PM »
A man comes running to the doctor shouting & screaming
in pain "Please
doctor you've got to help me. I've been stung by a
bee."

DOCTOR: "Don't worry; I'll put some cream on it."

MAN: "You will never find that bee. It must be miles
away by now."

DOCTOR: "No you don't understand! I'll put some cream
on the place you were stung."

MAN: "Oh! it happened in the garden where I was
sitting under a tree"

DOCTOR (in anger): "No, no you IDIOT! I mean on which
part of your body did that bee sting."
MAN (still screaming in pain): "On my finger! The bee
stung me on my finger and it really hurts"

DOCTOR (banging his fist, abusing and shouting):
"Which one?"

MAN (innocently): "How am I to know? All bees look the
same to me."
Man Qazi Wati Had e Daramad
Baren Mani Bareg Kujam Int.