Author Topic: If Resumes Told the Truth  (Read 2524 times)

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Offline Bijjar

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If Resumes Told the Truth
« on: May 19, 2005, 05:06:05 PM »
OBJECTIVE
To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor for eight hours, occasionally looking attentive when approached by a superior.

EDUCATION
School: Very Expensive
Major: Not Important
GPA: Don't Ask

EMPLOYMENT
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NETWORK MANAGEMENT
(9/96-Present) Produced daily itinerary of television programs to watch. Duties included changing channels, avoiding infomercials, and staying tuned after those messages.
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DEBT CONSOLIDATION
(4/97-12/99) Using various tools such as credit cards and borrowed cash, I managed to combine groups of unpaid bills into one monthly bill that goes straight to my father.
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RESIDENT INHALER
(9/98-6/99) Assisted all students with chemical intake from purchasing to exhaling.

COMPUTER SKILLS
*Solitaire *Minesweeper *On/Off Repair Method HONORS AND AWARDS
*First Place in Miller Lite Funnel Tournament *Said Toast at brother's wedding *High Score on Theta Chi's Pin Ball Machine

For further references, contact my mother. For positive responses, please pose all questions as though you're considering me as a law school applicant.
"When you belong to a minority, you have to be better in order to have the right to be equal."

Unknown

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