Joke of the Day

[Perozai R!nd]

Engagement:

A soldier serving overseas and far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote
breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together
and sent them to her with a note stating the following:
''Regret cannot remember which one is you ... please keep your photo and return the others.''

[Rind Baba]

[Saima Baloch]

[Perozai R!nd]

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."

When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor.

"No, from skipping," replied the blonde.

[Rind Baba]

One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two
men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got
out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?"he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food.", The poorman replied. "Oh, come along
with me then."
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"
"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!",he said to the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.
"Bring them as well!"
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as
large as the limo.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows says "Sir, you are too kind. Thank
you for taking all of us with you."
The rich man replied "No, I appreciate you: the grass at my home is about
three feet tall!"

[Perozai R!nd]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.vERYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Funny Brother.  

[DesertRose]

On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him, How much do you earn?" The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn 4000 a month, Sir. Why?"

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed 12000 cash And gave it to the young man and said, "Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is 3 months'salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight. Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, "And that applies for everybody in this company". He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who 's the young man that I just fired ?"

To which an amazing reply came of,

"He was the pizza delivery man,Sir...!!!"  

[DesertRose]

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope
propped up prominently on the center of the bed.

It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the
envelope and read the letter  with trembling hands:
 
"Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with
mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so
nice-even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle
clothes.

But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we
will be very happy.

Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she
already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the
whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's
now one of my dreams too.

Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be
growing it for us and  trading it with her friends for all the
cocaine and ecstasy we want.  In the meantime we'll pray that science
will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know
your grandchildren.

Your son,  John


PS:  Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in
life than my REPORT CARD that's in my desk center drawer.

I love you!
Call when it is safe for me to come home. "

[Rind Baba]

WIFE WANTED

Fisherman:
Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motor boat.

Salesman:
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car and successful career!

Economist:
I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are high. However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear too heavy a burden upon the national interest.

Mathematician:
Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.

IT Consultant:
Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of my current flows of information and processes is slowing down and the injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency. Compatibility could be an issue.

Business Man:
Wife wanted for company.

Politician:
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized society................. (etc etc and never getting to the point)

Car Dealer:
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent working condition.

Farmer:
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.

Lawyer:
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind whatsoever.

Pilot:
Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!

Banker:
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.

Shair(Poet):
Bari muddat keh baad eik arazoo jaagi hai,
Key hum bhe shaadi shooda ho jaayeh,
Kya bahaana shaadi karaney ka...............
Joh kurrey sarey sarey,
Yeah mai butaatah hoon .........
Kyoon key yaroo ub khud ghur keh kaam hotah nahee sarey sarey.

Accountant:
Required a girl - 5'8". She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as possible. She should profit from a nice personality and be a credit to her family.

Sharabi (Drinker):
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come round. Friends come round only seven times a week. Girl preferred who can carry me from bar to ghar-bar(home). Meet personally in a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be ample.

Mini Cab Driver:
Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm calling from base, erm a wife is needed for pick me up. Driving license not necessary, but maps reading skills are a bonus.

Beggar:
Allah kay naam peh koi eik biwi dey dey, Doosrey kee nahi to upni hee dey dey, Allah terah bhalla karray, Tujhey eik key badlay doh dey dey, Hillery hogi toh Monika bhi dey dey!

Builder:
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be homely and willing to build relationship from the ground up.

Doctor:
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.

Army Commando:
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided.

Race Car Driver:
A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be able to keep pace!

Astronaut:
I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!

[DesertRose]

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. One dayhe decided that he would love to plant potatoes and herbs in his garden, but he knew he was alone and too old and weak. His son was in college in Paris, so the old man sent him an e-mail explaining
the problem:

"Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden.I am sure, if only you were here, that you would help me and dig up the garden for me.
I love you,
your father."  

The following day, the old man received a response e-mail from his son:

"Beloved father, please don't touch the garden. That is where I have hidden 'the THING.' I love you, too, Ahmed."

At 4pm the FBI and the Rangers visited the house of the old man and took the whole garden apart, searching every inch. But they couldn't find anything.Disappointed, they left the house.  

The next day, the old man received another e-mail from his son:

"Beloved father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That is all I could do for you from here.

Your loving son,

Ahmed."  

[Ahmed]

Your loving son,

Ahmed."    

     

Thank God for blessing me with this much wisdom..  


 Gwaduri, I claimed it first.

[Mahnaaz]

NICE JOB AHMED .[/b]
 

[Mahgul]

.

There were two Christians Travelling on a plane. Sitting behind them was a Muslims. As they realized that a Muslims is Travelling with them. They started talking loudly with each other.
James said to Tim.
Tim where r u going, hopefully to Dubai.
Tim said Nah
There are too many Muslims, streets and roods are flooded with them.
James smiles and said then u must be going to Iran.
Tim said r u mad, Muslims in Iran are more fanatic and mad then Dubai.
Muslim who was listening to them could not bear it and said hey u both go to hell, for sure there would be no Muslim

[Imran]

TODAY'S  BREAKING, NEWS BULLETIN:

Today local police station toilet was stolen, leavin a big hole in ground. Police say they have nothing to go on, but they are looking into it hehehehe ( its paki police)

[Perozai R!nd]