Author Topic: Joke of the Day  (Read 41937 times)

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Offline DesertRose

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Joke of the Day
« on: April 24, 2005, 09:19:17 AM »
HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually, I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: It must have been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share.
 
HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.

HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.
   


 :$
Wisdom is not in words; Wisdom is meaning within words !!! Wisdom ceases to be wisdom...... when it become too Proud to Weep,, too grave to Laugh,, too self-full to see other than it self !!! Khalil Gibran

Offline DesertRose

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Joke of the Day
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2005, 09:50:55 PM »
This sardarji goes to the doctor and says "Doc,I ache all over.Every where i touch it hurts."
The doc says"OK.touch ur elbow."
The sardarji touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain.
The doc,surprised,says "touch ur head."
The sardarji touches his head and jumps in agony. The doc asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens.
Every where the sardarji touches it hurts like hell.
The doc is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays etc.. and tells the sardar to come back in 2 days.
Two days later the sardar comes back and the doctor says, "We've found ur problem."

"oh yeah?what is it?"


'you've broken ur Finger!'.
Wisdom is not in words; Wisdom is meaning within words !!! Wisdom ceases to be wisdom...... when it become too Proud to Weep,, too grave to Laugh,, too self-full to see other than it self !!! Khalil Gibran

Offline Zahida Raees Raji

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Joke of the Day
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2005, 09:50:13 AM »
extremly funny :)


Thank you dear sis desertRoze for starting a wounderful thread.

I am looking forward for more jokes :)
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Offline Rind Baba

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Joke of the Day
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2005, 07:21:37 PM »
Thanku DesertRose Jee Velly Funny Jokes U Post

Check This One

ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND SARDAR DENIED
SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY

WE MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES.
MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD,
MY BROTHER MARRIED MY BHABHI,
MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON.
SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!!
You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.

Long Live Baloch & Balochistan

Offline Alpha_baloch

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2005, 02:46:57 AM »
Quote from: DesertRose
HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
   


:>
WHO CAN DEFEAT A NATION(MUSLIMS)WHICH KNOWS HOW TO PLAY HIDE AND SEEK WITH DEATH

Offline Alpha_baloch

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Joke of the Day
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2005, 02:50:30 AM »
Quote from: Baba

ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND SARDAR DENIED
SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY

WE MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES.
MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD,
MY BROTHER MARRIED MY BHABHI,
MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON.
SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!!

so funny baba sabit
WHO CAN DEFEAT A NATION(MUSLIMS)WHICH KNOWS HOW TO PLAY HIDE AND SEEK WITH DEATH

Offline Rind Baba

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Joke of the Day
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2005, 07:41:40 PM »
Sardar Again!! :mrgreen:  :mrgreen:  :mrgreen:




Once upon a time, a Sardarji saw a boy who wore his cap in the back direction.
This event really harrased the social nature of sardarji and

then he also decided to wear his pagari in the backward direction .
While he was on his way to his office another Sardar saw him and asked

"Sardarji aa rahe ho ke jaa rahe ho"
You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.

Long Live Baloch & Balochistan

Offline Zahida Raees Raji

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Joke of the Day
« Reply #7 on: June 29, 2005, 12:38:32 PM »
Quote from: Alpha_baloch
Quote from: Baba

ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND SARDAR DENIED
SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY

WE MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES.
MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD,
MY BROTHER MARRIED MY BHABHI,
MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON.
SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!!

so funny baba sabit


O my God! What are you telling brother Alpha_baloch, you mean brother Sabit is funny...
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Offline Rind Baba

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Joke of the Day
« Reply #8 on: June 29, 2005, 08:07:55 PM »
Quote
O my God! What are you telling brother Alpha_baloch, you mean brother Sabit is funny...


No Sis He mean  My Joke Wich I Post :mrgreen:
Alpha Tayi che khyaal ey Men Ya Mani Joke

Long Time Wallah I DiD'nt Post Any Joke Let Me Post Today
I Hope U ppl enjoyed Reading My Joke's There Waz Only One Who Always Like Reading My Jokes I Dont No Where Iz She To repply .....
Im Talking About My Sis ZEBA :>

Sis Zeba Plz Come Back I Have Lot Of Jokes To Share :p
You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.

Long Live Baloch & Balochistan

Offline Rind Baba

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Joke of the Day
« Reply #9 on: June 29, 2005, 08:23:52 PM »
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son sabit :mrgreen: .

Wake up, sabit :mrgreen: . It's time to go to school!"
But why, Mom? I don't want to go."

Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
Well, the School Boys hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!"

Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get
ready Sabit :mrgreen: "  :mrgreen:

Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the

PRINCIPAL!"
You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.

Long Live Baloch & Balochistan

Offline Rind Baba

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Joke of the Day
« Reply #10 on: July 29, 2005, 06:39:57 PM »
:mrgreen:


  Mr Bush

President George W Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "tragedy."
So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy."

No, says Bush, "that would be an ACCIDENT."

A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy."

I'm afraid not," explains Mr. President. "That's what we would call a GREAT LOSS."

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.

President Bush searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally, way in the back of the room, a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. Bush, were struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens by a terrorist, that would be a tragedy."
Fantastic," exclaims Bush, "that's right. And can you tell me WHY that would be a TRAGEDY?"

Well,says the boy, because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly wouldn't be a great loss.
You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.

Long Live Baloch & Balochistan

Offline Rind Baba

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Joke of the Day
« Reply #11 on: August 16, 2005, 08:26:03 PM »
Sardar je


Sardarji is travelling by train.
He feels sleepy, so he gives the guy opposite 20 rupees to wake him up when his station comes.
This guy is a barber. He feels that for 20 rupees Sardarji deserves more.
So, when Sardarji falls asleep, the barber quietly shaves off his beard.
When the station arrives, he wakes up Sardarji and sends him home.
Reaching home, he goes to wash his face, and suddenly screams when he sees the mirror.
Sardarni asks, "What's the matter?"
"The cheat on the train takes my 20 rupees and wakes up someone else!"
You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.

Long Live Baloch & Balochistan

Offline Rind Baba

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Joke of the Day
« Reply #12 on: September 22, 2005, 12:09:40 AM »
A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their
35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and
said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

"Ooh, I want to travel around the worldwith my darling husband" said the wife

The fairy moved her magic stick and ~ abracadabra! ~ two tickets for the new QueenMary2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Now it was the husbands turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime,so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish s to go on this trip with a woman who is 30 years younger than me".

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish...So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick
abracadabra! the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story...Men might be ungrateful idiots... But
fairies are....female
You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.

Long Live Baloch & Balochistan

Offline Rind Baba

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« Reply #13 on: September 22, 2005, 12:18:29 AM »
Real Brain Stumpers



1) A big fat Indian and a small thin Indian were sitting outside a teepee, each smoking a pipe. The little Indian was the son of the big Indian, but the big Indian was not the little Indian's father. How come?

{Solution}

The big Indian was the little Indian's mother.



2) Mary's husband's father-in-law is Mary's husband's brother's brother-in-law, and Mary's sister-in-law is Mary's brother's stepmother. How did this happen?

{Solution}

Mary's father married the sister of Mary's husband.



3) Over the side of a boat floating in a harbor there hangs a rope ladder containing ten rungs. Each rung is one foot from the next one and the bottom rung is resting on the surface of the water. The tide rises at a rate of one foot an hour. How long will it take the water to reach the top rung?

{Solution}

It will never reach the top rung because the boat will rise with the tide.



4) A sparrow has fallen into a hole in a rock. The hole measures three inches in diameter and is three feet deep. Due to the depth of the hole, the sparrow cannot be reached by hand. We cannot use sticks or canes, because we could hurt the bird. How can you get the bird out?

{Solution}

By gradually pouring sand into the hole. The bird will keep moving so that it is not buried in the sand, forcing it higher until it comes out.



5) Timothy and Urban play a game with two dice. But they do not use the numbers. Some of the faces are painted red and the others blue. Each player throws the dice in turn. Timothy wins when the two top faces are the same color. Urban wins when the colors are different. Their chances are even.
The first die has 5 red faces and 1 blue face. How many red and how many blue are there on the second die?

{Solution}

Each die has 6 faces. When two dice are thrown, there are 36 equally possible results. For chances to be even, there must be 18 ways of getting the same color on top. Let X be the number of red faces on the second die. We have: 18 = 5X + 1(6 - X)
X = 3 The second die must have 3 red faces and 3 blue faces.



6) A ribbon is 30 inches long. If you cut it with a pair of scissors into one-inch pieces, how many snips would it take?

{Solution}

Twenty-nine snips. The last two inches are divided by one snip.


7) A Ferrari is traveling at 30 miles per hour on a head-on collision course with a Maserati, which is being driven at a leisurely 20 miles per hour. When the two cars are exactly 50 miles apart, a very fast fly leaves the front fender of the Ferrari and travels towards the Maserati at 100 miles per hour. When it reaches the Maserati, it instantly reverses direction and flies back to the Ferrari and continues winging back and forth between the rapidly approaching cars. At the moment the two cars collide, what is the total distance the fly has covered?

{Solution}

At first glance it may seem that a horrendous calculation is necessary to solve this: the sum of an infinite series of numbers that get smaller and smaller as the cars approach each other. But if you focus on time rather than distance, a solution is easy. The cars are 50 miles apart and traveling towards each other at a combined speed of 50 miles per hour, so they will meet in one hour. In that hour, a fly that flies at 100 miles per hour will naturally travel 100 miles.
You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.

Long Live Baloch & Balochistan

Offline Perozai R!nd

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Joke of the Day
« Reply #14 on: October 06, 2005, 09:21:55 PM »
I ASKED MY HEART

I ASKED MY HEART ,  
WHO IS THE BIGGEST SINNER?
IT SAID ,
YOU.  :%
I ASKED MY HEART ,
WHO IS THE BIGGEST LIAR?
IT SAID ,
YOU.  :((

I ASKED MY HEART ,
WHO IS THE BIGGEST CRIMINAL?
IT SAID ,
YOU.  :'(

I ASKED MY HEART ,
WHO IS THE BIGGEST FRAUD?
IT SAID ,
YOU. :'(  


I ASKED MY HEART ,
WHO IS THE BIGGEST IDIOT?
IT SAID ,
YOU.  :?

I ASKED MY HEART ,
WHO IS THE BIGGEST DUFFER?
IT SAID ,
YOU.  :%

I ASKED MY HEART ,
WHO IS THE BIGGEST FOOL?
IT SAID ,
YOU.  ^o)

I ASKED MY HEART ,  
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY YOU?
IT SAID ,
THE PERSON WHO IS READING THIS ARTICLE
:mrgreen: