Sardar jee

[Nuno]

kharak singh key kharakny sy kharkti hain khirkiyan
or khirkioon key kharakny sey kharkta hai khak singh

[Nohani]

A lie machine is bought.It works in the following way.....

If the truth is told- the machine wont give any sound. If a lie is told- the machine will give a sound 'KIRRRRRRRR...'

Now there are three Indians.One Bengali,one Madrasi and one Sardarji.

Their correspondences are given infront of the lie
machine.Here it goes......

Bengali:- 'I think I can eat 30 rosogullas at a time!'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
 
Bengali:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 rosogullas at a time'
Lie machine:- no sound(truth is told)

Madrasi:-'I think i can eat 25 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
 
Madrasi:-'No no,I think i can eat 10 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-no sound(truth)

Sardarji:-'I think....'
Lie machine:-  'KIRRRRRRRR...'
 
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'.
 
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'

[Digital Walk]

"Oye Khote! let me Speak firstTT"
u 'KIRRRRRRRR...'  and 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
before I lie!!
Oye this is wrongg!!!
Can I try agian??
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'

 

[زینوک Zenok]

Teacher to Sardar " Where were U born?
Sardar : In Tiruvanantapuram.
Teacher : Spell it?
Sardar : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.
================================================================

Santa : People consider me as a "GOD"
Banta : How do you know??
Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have came again..

================================================================

Sardar complained 2 Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my house.
Police : How the theif did not take TV???
Sardar : I was watching TV na....

[زینوک Zenok]

Amazing Sardar
 
About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Sikhs had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Sikh community.
 
So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Sikh community. If the Sikh won, the Sikhs Could stay.
 
If the Pope won, the Sikhs would leave.
 
The Sikhs realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named Harbinder Singh to represent them. Harbinder asked for one additional condition to the debate. To make it more Interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed.
 
The day of the great debate came. Harbinder Singh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute. Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
 
Harbinder looked back at him and raised one finger.
The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head.
 
Harbinder pointed to the ground where he sat.
The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine.
 
Harbinder pulled out an apple.
The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Sikhs can stay."
 
An hour later, the cardinals were gathered around the Pope asking him what had happened.
 
The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity.
He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still One God common to both our religions.
 
Then, I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us.
He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us.
 
Then, I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God Absolves us from our sins.
He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin.
 
He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"
 
Meanwhile, the Sikh community had crowded around Harbinder Singh. "What happened?" they asked.
 
"Well," said Harbinder, "First he said to me that the Sikhs had three days to get out of here.
I told him not one of us was leaving.
 
Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Sikhs.
I let him know that we were staying right here."
 
"Yes, and then???" asked the crowd.
"I don't know", said Harbinder, "He took out his lunch, and I took out mine!!

[Mahnaaz]

Sardarji Kidnapping a Child
 
 
A Sardar Ji was Living hand to Mouth.
In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
 
He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
 
Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid.
Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".
 
Signed: "A Sardarji".
 
Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
 
The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying:
 
"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Take the money, and Please leave my son."
Signed: Another Sardarji.

[Rind Baba]

Sardar Je was buying a tv
He Ask Do You Have  color TVs?
The Man Reply Sure
sardar:  Then Give Me A Green One Please

[زینوک Zenok]

Dear Mr Bill Gates,
 
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
 
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
 
2. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.
 
3. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.
 
4. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
 
5. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this 'find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug?
 
6. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.
 
7. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?
 
8.  I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad lekhin there is  only one icon with 'MY Computer', remaining ka kya huwa?
 
9. Aur ye to kamal hai, windows says 'MY Pictures' lekhin there is not even single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that.
 
10. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
 
From:
Banta Singh,
Punjab

[Perozai R!nd]

Sardar I haven't slept all nite in the train.
Friend : Why
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend why did you not changed
Sardar :There was nobody to exchange the lower birth.


Sardar went to a BANK to open a S.B. A/C.
After seeing the Form He had gone to DELHI for filling up.
You know why
FORM say " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".


A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Hair Cutting Saloon in Punjab!

[Perozai R!nd]

Ek sardar apne bete se bola: Bevkuf kaisa machis leke aaya
hai,
ek bhi

tili nahin jalti.

Beta: Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke laya hoon.
 

[Rind Baba]

1: Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar
sakta tha kya?
Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di....."

2:Sardar:Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend: B.A.
Sardar: kamal karte ho yaar sirf do word padhe aur woh bhi ulte.

3:A friend asks sardar how was ur exam?
Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK.
I thought, thought finally i wrote 'THUNK'.

4:Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz
sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.

5:Sardarni asks her lover,"Santa dear, if we get engaged, will u give
me a ring?"
"Sure" replies santa. "Whats ur phone no?"

6:Angry sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga - mita dunga- mita
dunga.
Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga.

7:What is the full form of singh: S-sardar I-insaan N-nahi G-gadha
H-hai.

8:koi Sardaar apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki achanak
bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola:
Lagta hai pahunch gai

[Nuno]

Q:Why did sardar ji cut the sides of capsule before taking it?
 A:Because he wanted to avoid th side effects

[baloch_friend]

. A news reporter gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station.
Only one sardar left alive.The correspondent goes to him and asks, Sardarji how did it happen?

Sardar: oh ji pucho mat.. sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade gaadi ki wait kar rahe they. Achanak announcement hui ki shatabdee express 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai. Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi PLATFORM PAR aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri par kood gaye. Aur tabhi gaddi patri par aa gayi.

Reporter: Thank god. Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par nahin koode.

Sardar: Oye nahin ji main to suicide karne ki iye patri par hi leta tha. Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad gaya.

[Rind Baba]

A Sardar jiii tells his gf, "come home tomorrow, no one will b at home."
When she goes the next day to his home.......
There was NO ONE at home.


A SARDARJI is in the library , he bangs down a book and says :" too boring, too many characters and no story.
LIBRARIAN says : oh! U r the one who took the phone directory away??

[زینوک Zenok]

 
There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
 
He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
 
Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid.
 
Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".
 
Signed: "A Sardarji".
 
Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
 
The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying:
 
"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Take the money, and Please leave my son."
Signed: Another Sardarji